The Attainable and Unattainable (for now) Birthday Wish List

I am turning 26 in 18 days. When I was a kid, I though that 26 is my marrying age. If I followed that "ideal time line", I should have been preparing for my wedding this year. But... things change... and so does the budget. Haha! I will be 26 and I don't think I am ready for that yet. Though, I would love to get married someday (with my boyfriend of course!) I don't think I am ready to start a family financially.

Last month, me and my two siblings were admitted in the hospital. Yes, the youngest was also admitted due to dengue AND typhoid. We spent a lot of money with our hospitalization and I planned not to celebrate my birthday anymore. It's because I really have a tight budget this month; I wasn't paid by my employer due to my absences last month.

But then again... it's my birthday. I should celebrate it... I can celebrate it with my forever comfort food, McDonald's Cheeseburger Meal and drink Coke through their Coke Can Glass (only P25!).

And since it's my birthday, I'll probably scavenge for birthday gifts like what I did to my sister's medicines. Haha!

Attainable Birthday Wish List (aka the NEEDS)



Ombre Hair. As much as I want to do it by myself, I am scared of damaging my own hair. I'll probably go to the salon for this.



Zipline Adventure. Finally, after the long wait! I will be able to try this! I told myself that before I turn 26, I should be able to try the Zipline Adventure. We, my co-staff nurses and I,  will be going to Eastwood this Saturday to try this Zipline in the metro. I can't wait! Thank God, I don't have an fresh operated wound to worry about!



Vanity Table. I really, really need this for my room because the products I use for myself are quite messy. They're just everywhere. Haha! With this, I'd be able to organize my make-up set and primp and pamper products!



Curling Iron SET. Yes, a single curling iron is not enough for me. I want a full set of curling iron. pang-artista effect ba. Lol. Since my mom didn't allow me to perm my hair, I should probably get a curling iron instead! (This should be under unattaible since I am wishing for a SET!)

Unattainable Wish List (Wants. Stuff that I don't need for now but I wish I have the moolah to buy them)




Camera. I always rant about wanting to have my own camera. And I still don't get one because of school fees. :(



Make-Up Brush Set. One of my plans is to fully furnish the vanity table that I will buy. Haha. I told you, pang-artista! If I get a complete set of make-up, I'd also need to get this set.



Shoes. I'm not really fond of wearing high heels but these are lovely! <3

That's all I can think about. Material things that could temporarily make me happy. What could really make me happy on my birthday or this 26th year of my life  are the following: to find the fulfillment in my job, finish my master's degree, have a healthy life, celebrate our 4th year anniversary, healthy life for my parents and success for my siblings.

Patch Adams

I'm currently watching this film to get an inspiration for my thesis. You probably now have an idea about my topic. :)

See what no one else sees...

See what everyone else chooses not to see out of fear and conformity and laziness

See the whole world anew each day.

No, I am not going to post a review since I am still watching it (took a break to blog). I was just inspired by the last line in that scene. See the whole world anew each day. Win or lose, life must go on. Thank you guys for supporting me in the 2010 Philippine Blog Awards. I know I will not win again because I don't have a big fan base but that's okay... Like what I posted on my Facebook and Twitter account, I will continue blogging silently with a bang. :)

Gifts from Strangers

"Auntie, oh. Sa inyo na ito..."

My cousin, a nurse who worked in the hospital where I am currently in, used to say these words to my mom almost every day. When she was still living with us, she always had these goodies from random people. So when I was a kid, I always thought that being a nurse gives you the opportunity to bring home some random gifts/food. Well, kids do love gifts.

When I became a nurse, I realized that those gifts my cousin received from her patients were more than just a material thing. It's more of an appreciation from people whom you've helped. It's gratitude from people whom you're not related to but you still cared for. It's not the material thing... it's the feeling of being appreciated.

Lately, I've been getting food and fruits from one particular patient. She's very kind! I want her to be my grandmother! She's entertaining, generous and cute. Haha! But one thing that I like the most about her is that even though she's kind of rich, she didn't let me feel that I'm a low kind of person. Some rich people think that nurses are slaves. There's this one daughter of a patient who called for some help yesterday. I didn't get what she asked me and she just shouted "I know, I know! My gosh!!!" I felt humiliated at what she did. She shouldn't have said those words. She shouldn't have treated me like that. I may be a nurse who "makes punas punas the pwet of the patients" but I definitely do not deserve to be treated that way. You, patients and your relatives, owe the nurses a lot but we don't say that to you right in front of your faces because it is wrong. It is definitely wrong. Whatever we do FOR you is because it's part of our job, it is our task to save lives.

So anyway, let me go back to my story. I told a-ma (grandmother in Chinese) not to give me food anymore, but she insisted. Then she told me, "I really like the nurses in AM shift because they're kind and very caring to my husband." I felt flattered because she appreciates what I do, what we, nurses, do. She understands that I cannot be there for her husband all the time because I have other patients to attend to. Being appreciated inspires me to do my best and to work effectively and efficiently. But don't get me wrong, even if a patient or his/her relative doesn't appreciate what I do, I still make sure that I render the nursing care he/she deserves. Again, it is our task to save lives without discrimination, without favoring a patient more than the other.

This Christmas season, I want to thank those people who appreciate the nurses. It's not only about the gifts that you give... It's how you make us feel that somehow in our 8-hour shift, you value what we do for you without us, nurses, expecting in return.

My favorite patient of the year

One thing that excites me about going to work tomorrow is seeing my patient again who has colon cancer. She's an ex-mayor of some town in their province that I will not tell here. Her husband also became an ex-mayor of that town. They're both doctors, by the way. It was only 10 days ago when I learned about their job. (Nakakahiya kase naglelecture pa ako sa kanila. Hahaha!) She goes to the hospital for chemotherapy every 11 days. Tomorrow is her last session. I hope she will be admitted in our area.

It's not about their background that made me like them. It's how they treat me. They're really kind compared to my other patients who do not appreciate our nursing care. They inspire me to become a better health practitioner. They also encouraged me to pursue my dream to become a doctor. Listening to their pieces of advice made me miss my grand parents. How I wish I was closer to them...

My patient and her husband are way beyond awesome and I really pray for her to survive her illness. I also admire her husband for taking care of her and for always being there for her despite his age (they're both senior citizens). I wish they'll let me know if she's already okay. If yes, I was thinking if I could give her a pin similar to this as my token of appreciation.

This is actually for breast cancer survivors but maybe I can ask someone to make something like this for her. What do you think?

One Sunday Morning: a true story

It was Sunday. I woke up early to hear Mass. It’s been three weeks since I last went to the church because of my busy schedule.

The church was full of people. I remember the priest once said, “Next Sunday, I want new faces inside this church. I want all of you to invite at least one person every Sunday.” I guess, people followed.

I sat in the middle because I think that’s the most quiet area of the church. I easily get irritated with people who do not respect the mass and the people who are there to solemnly pray.

So anyway, in front of me was a familiar face. I knew I met this old lady somewhere but I had a hard time recalling when and where I met her. I thought maybe she was a patient of mine. She was wearing an all black attire. I assumed that the two people she was with was her daughter and her grand son.

During the communion, I finally saw the whole face of the old lady and right then and there, I remembered where I met her. She’s a church “seat mate”. I always sit right next to her and her husband. And now, I think her husband’s gone.

Now I know why she’s wearing an all black attire and maybe that’s the reason why she wore a gloomy face. Believe it or not, I got teary-eyed. I felt sad because I spent 1 hour every Sunday for almost a year with these old couple but now, I felt the incompleteness in her.

I like seeing old couples who still do things together because there are other couples who have grown apart as time passed by. I don’t want the latter to happen to me and my future husband. I want to be like those old couples who inspired me and made me believe that the Grow Old With You song is true. But what scares me the most is losing your other half that you promised to love for the rest of your life. But that’s life, people come and go.

My 2009

Last year (2008), I told myself that I will do everything to be successful this year. It didn't happen though but I am still happy how  I was able to spend the whole year. I call my 2009 a PRODUCTIVE YEAR.

I may not have gotten a job yet in the hospital but at least, I was given a chance to be a volunteer nurse in a public hospital, which is a first time for me because I always "work" as a trainee in a private hospital. (February - May 2009)

By the time our contract as a volunteer nurse ended, I was able to get a job as a teacher for Korean students. It didn't last as well because I decided to quit to focus more on my master's class. Being a teacher to Koreans was helluva fun. I was able to see their culture and mingle with them and at the same time, I was able to share my Filipino traits with my Korean kids. I wonder how they are now. I miss those kids. (June - August 2009)

One thing I liked about this year is that I was able to go back to school. I met new friends, gained a lot of knowledge and learned more about my chosen field. I also get to learn more about being a good teacher. My favorite subject in my first semester as a master's degree candidate is our Instructional Supervision. Our professor truly touched my life as a person and as a teacher. I also learned how to work on my own now. Back in college, we were always given group tasks. Now, you have to work on your own  although I know how to work as an individual but this time I don't have subordinates (because I used to be a leader) whom I can ask for help. And oh, I am really happy that I got good grades. (June - October 2009)

I think one of the achievements I've gained this year is being one of the finalists in the Philippine Blog Awards 2009. I may not have grabbed a single award even though I was a finalist in four different categories but at least I was included in this contest as a finalist because not all bloggers are given an opportunity like this. I'm thinking about joining again next year. (October 2009)

Second semester is much more challenging because this is the start of our major subjects but I guess I can handle this because this is where I am more interested in. There are so many tasks to do and until now, I am trying to accomplish them all. I am enjoying it anyway so no complaints about this one. :) (November 2009 - December 2009)

In life, there would always be changes. And these changes would also help us to be strong. My December 2009 is the toughest month of all. I encountered personal problems that I thought I couldn't handle. I was able to get through those 18 days of sadness and longing. God is really good because He answered my prayer. I guess, God really gave my boyfriend to me because I told him that if he's not for me, then he wouldn't come back. But he did. This year is a tough year for both of us but I am glad we're ending this year TOGETHER.

I thought everything would end normally but something happened to me that's really unexpected. But because of this shocking event in my life, it made me stronger. It helped me to become a fighter. I thank God for giving me this kind of strength. And I also thank God that because of this emergency surgery, I felt how much I am loved and supported by the people around me, even those people I really do not know.

So many things happened this year. It is, indeed, my productive year but also a very, very challenging one that I was able to surpass.

Cash o Bigas. Bigas o Cash.

This is the Christmas outreach project of our parish church. They will be giving away 4 kilos of rice after Christmas for each unfortunate family near our area. They are accepting bags of rice or cash and those bags of rice are put in this thing called, "Kariton ng Buhay" that will be used for distributing the rice. ((This was probably influenced by the CNN Hero of the Year, Efren Penaflorida))

I feel fulfilled this Christmas season because our family was able to join this project. My parents bought not only a bag, but a sack of rice this morning. That's a total of 50 kilos. When my dad asked who wants to go with him to the church, I immediately volunteered because I want to do it myself to talk to whoever in the parish church. I was really hoping that I would be able to talk to a priest but since it is a Sunday, only a personnel in the office was there.

I went home really happy with what I and my family have done for this day, for this Christmas season. I hope others would participate as well. This happiness of helping others is an ultimate feeling that can never be exchanged by any priced material. Christmas season has always been about giving and not receiving. I hope that we don't only do this during this season but also for the whole year, if ever we are given a chance to do something for others.

How about you? What good deed have you done for this Christmas?

Kids on the Jeepney

When I was in grade school, I was never allowed to ride a jeepney nor walk home all by myself. Even though my school is just a walking distance from our house, my parents still hired a school service ((they call it as service instead of school bus because they're not actually using a bus but a van or any other type of automobile and I used to whine that riding on a school bus was cooler than on a school service. Hahaha!)) to pick us ((me and my siblings)) up for school and vice versa. So when I started going to college, believe it or not, I was so scared of commuting by myself! Aside from the university is kilometers and an hour away from ours, I wasn't used to riding on a jeepney nor an FX ((another mode of transportation)) on my own. I remember, my mom kept on texting me if I arrived safely in school. Okay, I wasn't really the one who was nervous. Hehe!

I, then, realized that it was growing up.

I blogged about this because earlier this afternoon while I was on my way home, there were passengers on the jeepney whose age were like 8 or 10. I can not believe that they commute from their school to their respective houses without their parents.  I wonder if their parents forced them to do it or allowed them because they're busy as hell to look after their children. I am not saying that their parents don't care about them. There must be a reason. But you see, I worry for these kids. What if they got into trouble or accident? There are so many criminals and kidnappers who can fool this helpless-looking kids. Anyways, their guardian angels probably won't let bad things happen to them.

On the lighter note of the story, I find them amusing. Haha! I told myself, "Daig pa nila ako!" In my opinion, these kids will mature early than those kids who grew up where everything they need is available. These kids saw the reality of life at a very early age unlike those kids who still complain for not having the coolest toy on earth.

While I was observing the kids during our trip, I can't help but smile because of them. Can you imagine that they were just laughing all the time? They were pointing at expensive and luxury cars while saying, "Akin yang kotse na yan! Sayo yang hi-ace!" Probabyly these kids also have ambitions of riding on their dream cars someday. They maybe dreaming of getting off from a cool car for school and being dropped off by a very friendly chauffer.

Kids, don't stop dreaming and working hard for your dream - a friendly advice from a stranger, who kept on watching you the whole time, named Ate Xyla.

Good News from a Favorite Teacher

While I was chatting with my highschool bestfriend in Facebook, my favorite teacher in high school texted me. I was surprised that I got a message from her. She doesn't send quotes, or biblical messages so it was really unexpected.

The text message is about the result of her exam. She just informed me that she successfully passed the exam. The exam that made me depressed for about a year. The exam that my loved ones, friends, and relatives expected me to pass but too bad, I disappointed them. The exam that cost $$$. The exam that almost shattered my dreams and hopes. Oh! It has a name, by the way. I totally forgot. NCLEX.

Ohkay. I sound bitter. But really, I am fine now. I got over it, eventually. I guess, it isn't for me.

Anyways, let's go back to the story. Upon reading her text message, I replied right away and congratulated her. I know that she really deserves it. I told her that God is really good and I am so happy for her. She said that she texted me only to inform me because she feels that I am part of her success.

Well, just so you know, we were classmates in our NCLEX review. I don't know if I have blogged this before but I was literally in shock when I saw her in the same room. Because she didn't pursue her nursing career when she graduated from college, she had a hard time on going back to the nursing world. So whenever she had questions regarding our subject for the day, I helped her to catch up with the lessons. Seriously? That was a bit awkward. A high school teacher of yours asking what the lesson is all about. Haha! But anyways, I had fun that I got to know her more. We also used to eat our lunch together and share our baons. So yeah, it was my pleasure to help her with our review. Probably, that's the reason why she said that I am part of her success. That is really flattering - especially that the words came from your favorite teacher ever.

My happiness for her is really from the apex of my heart because before I was really bitter like I question God why this certain person passed the exam. "Like hello? She was a consistent cheater in our college days! She even depended on me during our exams! How can she pass it?!" You get what I mean? But with my favorite teacher? It was totally different. I can not express my happiness for her in words. Maybe because she's been really good to me since day 1. She's been there for me ever since even though we only text during our birthdays and Christmas holidays. And what was really touching is that she called me when I received my result. She comforted me in her usual way like, God has better plans for you, blah blah blah. For some people, you may say, "Not again... the God-has-better-plans-for-you comforting words." But with her? I know it's sincere.

For a good person like her, I know that she deserves all the best things in the world. She inspired me when I was in high school. And until now, she is still an inspiration.

Congrats, Miss _____!