The Attack of Endometriosis

In the evening of April 11, while I was preparing my stuff for our outing the next day, I suddenly felt an excruciating pain in the right lower quadrant of my abdomen radiating to my back and spreading to my right leg and thigh. Pain scale is 11/10. It was intense. I had to rush to our institute's emergency room for medical consultation.

In the emergency room, I felt disappointed of the nurses who were on duty. Due to frustration, I vented out on my iPad while I was in the hospital. I plan to print it out and submit it to our new chief nurse. Here's a part of the letter:

What disappointed me is that, the entire time that I was on the stretcher crying and suffering from excruciating pain, not a single ER nurse dared to ask me what is going on. They just kept on passing by the stretcher where I was. I understand that this is an emergency room and that everything is fast paced but I assume that I am not the kind of patient that could be categorized as the least priority because I was in so much pain. My pain is scale is even more than 10. I was curling up on that stretcher, crying out loud. I even had to ask my father to follow up every now and then.
 It's kind of frustrating in my part because I am a nurse too. I am not a perfect nurse but I make sure that when I see a patient who's suffering from pain, I approach him/her just to calm him/her down. In that way, the patient will feel that he/she is safe and that he/she is being taken care of. I hate to say this but I didn't feel any of that from them while waiting for the doctor's order. In school, we were taught that the immediate and independent nursing care for a person who is in distress is to give a calming and relaxing environment. And yes, therapeutic touch works too.
 I have been in and out of the hospital as a patient for how many years. I have been suffering from endometriosis since 2007, migraine and chest pain since God knows when... I have been rushed to the emergency room for how many times and I hate to admit this but I think that the ER nurses in other hospitals where I was rushed are better than the ER nurses we have here. I felt safer there than here. I can't help but compare. That's the reason why I saw what they have been lacking. I don't want to generalize. I don't want to judge them because I don't know what these nurses are going through and like what I said, I am a nurse too so I know how busy their lives are. What I am trying to point here is the lack of concern when I was there. I don't know... Is it because they know that I am a nurse? Did they put in their minds that I know how to handle myself? I don't think that's the right reason because in that situation, I am a patient suffering from pain not a nurse scrutinizing them.

 One more thing, I had an encounter with a rude medical intern in that same place. For the record, I have undergone too many ECGs (I have a mild heart illness that I haven't followed up for years.) and this is the only time that a MALE medical intern would do the procedure. I requested for a FEMALE intern and this is our conversation:

Me: Pwede po bang babae na lang mag-ECG sa akin....
MIOD (Medical Intern On Duty): Diba employee ka naman dito?
Me: Oo, staff ako ng N5.
MIOD: Oh.. alam mo naman na yun e. Nurse ka naman. Doctor naman ako. Anong problema dun?
Me: Eh doctor (we call them doctor even if they aren't licensed yet), eh nakakahiya naman at lalake ka.
MIOD: E di wag! *walks out*

How rude! Dafuq. If only I wasn't in pain that night, I could have thrown him my phone. Anyway, I got his name and mentioned in the Patient Satisfactory Survey Form about what he did.

Now let me talk about my illness... So everybody knows that I have endometriosis and I was diagnosed in 2007. I have undergone operation for two times, one was elective and the other one was emergency. In 2010 and 2011, I felt okay. Although, I suffer from monthly dysmenorrhea which I think is inevitable in my situation. My fault is that when I started working in the hospital, I failed to follow up. So this is a lesson for everybody with a chronic illness, it is a MUST to follow up.

In my ultrasound, it showed that I have a cyst again on my LEFT ovary. My RIGHT ovary is normal even though I feel the pain at the right side of my abdomen. I was referred to a new OB because my previous OB can not attend to her patients for the mean time because she is on a training right now. My OB told me that I need to go back to my pills. I stopped it in 2010. I told her that I stopped it because of my breast lumps. So she opted me to undergo breast ultrasound for clearance. On that same day, I also underwent ultrasound of the whole abdomen also for surgery clearance... In my breast ultrasound, it showed a LOT of nodules. Ten nodules in both of my breasts. Thank God, they are benign... but I still have to monitor them. We don't know what will happen next. In my whole abdomen ultrasound, it said that I have adenomyosis which is related to my endomtriosis... And that probably caused all these pain I felt.

So for the treatment, my OB said I have to get 3 shots of GnRH which I had a few years back. It costs Php 8,000 every shot back in 2007. I had 4 shots then. Now, I have to get 3 shots every month and then proceed to the contraceptive pills. I don't know how much this GnRH costs now but it definitely costs a fortune for a nurse like me who is not really well paid here in our country.

The other treatment which takes a lot of contemplating is to GET PREGNANT. Since 2007, my first OB told me that this is the best option. I am not ready to get pregnant yet. I mean, to get pregnant is probably exciting but after that, what will happen to the baby? I don't want to bear a child just because I have to. What will I feed her? I am not yet financially stable to have a family of my own. PLUS, I still don't want to give up my singlehood. Hahaha! I still have a lot of dreams to fulfill and goals to achieve. If a baby comes into my life, everything will change. Not that I don't want to be a mother... Of course, I want to be a mom... but at the RIGHT time. But then again, if I plan to get pregnant years from now... I might have a hard time conceiving.

Anyway, it's already 11 am... I need to prepare for work. Yes, I'm back to work. I only had 2 days of rest here at home. I'm not losing hope. I've read in some forums that they still got pregnant when they were 30+. Let's pray for that.

Mau, Andrea and Jinkee (my closest friends in N5) paid a visit after their outing. Yes, I wasn't able to attend our summer outing because of what happened.

My baby girl, Alodia

When someone walks into your life, he/she probably has a purpose. I guess, Alodia came into my life just to teach us a lesson. Alodia died in my arms this morning. It was like a roller coaster ride seeing her suffer from illness that we just learned yesterday. Little did we know, she was suffering from distemper.

Canine distemper is a contagious, incurable, often fatal, multisystemic viral disease that affects the respiratory, gastrointestinal, and central nervous systems. Distemper is caused by the canine distemper virus (CDV).
Source

A week ago when I noticed that Alodia suddenly lost her appetite, I asked the vet if they could just insert an IV line to hydrate her. They told me that she has respiratory infection which affects the appetite of a puppy. Because she doesn't drink and eat that much anymore, they incorporated vitamins to her intravenous fluid.

The next day, March 14, Alodia bit the injection port cap of the IV catheter so I have no choice but to remove it because it might cause her sepsis if we just let it open.

March 15: Her appetite went back. I was happy to see her eat again...

March 17: We went back to the vet because TJ and I noticed that she has been coughing a lot. An IV line was reinserted and the vet said to continue the meds. That night, Weasley (our shih tzu) died from meningitis.   She lost her appetite again so we have no choice but to force feed her.

I covered her IV line with a sanitary napkin so she wouldn't bite it again. Haha!

March 18: TJ and I attended a wedding this day. When he dropped me off at my house, she was so ecstatic to see TJ. Her tail kept wiggling for a short time then she suddenly became pale again. We noticed that Alodia became depressed. We thought that it might probably be caused by our sudden loss from Weasley. They're playmates. She probably wondered why her playmate is missing for a couple of days.


March 19: My sister brought her back to the vet because of phlebitis. Her feet with an IV line became edematous. That probably caused her fever. So the vet said to continue the force feeding instead. We gave her everything that she wants but every time we give her the same type of food on the next time of feeding, she would turn her back on it. So we have to offer different type of foods just to make her eat. I slept in our living room so I could watch her over the whole night.

March 20: It was my rest day so I brought her back to the vet because she still won't eat. The vet told me that she has a poor prognosis which means that she still not recovering. He told me to continue the medicines since respiratory infection in dogs would take 2 weeks to 1 month for them to become fully recovered.

This was taken while we were on our way to the vet. The tricycle drivers already know us so Manong  Trike driver offered to take us  to the vet which was a bit far from our place. We usually take a cab when we go there. 

March 21: While I was at work, I received a bad news from my sister. Alodia had muscle twitching. Because we just had a recent loss from Weasley who had a number of seizures before he died, my sister panicked and brought her to the vet right away. The vet referred Alodia to the Veterinary Teaching Hospital in UP Diliman where it was confirmed that she has Distemper. Dr. Lester advised different antibiotics and vitamins for Alodia and recommended to do NDV Spinal Tap on her at Vets in Practice Animal Hospital in Mandaluyong. Because I was still at work, I asked her to buy all the things we need before heading to VIP. So she bought the vaccine from a poultry shop and the medicines in UP.


At 6:30 pm, we left the house and arrived at VIP at around 7:30 pm. When they learned that Alodia is positive in Canine Distemper Virus, they asked us to stay outside to avoid spreading the virus to other dogs confined in that hospital. The vet explained the procedure outside.  When I learned that he's going to be sedated, I had second thoughts. There might be a risk that she won't wake up anymore from the sedation especially that she's sick. I called TJ for his opinion. I wanted him to decide because I was afraid of making a wrong decision. He told me to make a risk. I signed a consent before the procedure was done. I couldn't stop crying that night. It was a scary experience for a first time pet owner like me.

The spinal tap was done outside their building. She was shaved at her nape where the vaccine will be injected. Right after shaving, the vet injected an anesthesia... After a couple of minutes, Alodia became groggy then the vet palpated her nape and tried to look for the right site to puncture. After injecting a gauge 22 needle, a clear liquid came out which is probably the cerebrospinal fluid. Then, the vet injected the vaccine slowly and removed the needle after consuming the vaccine.

The vet told me to wait for 2-3 hours for her to wake her up. If she's fully awake, we can take her home and  do the next procedure on Saturday which requires us a donor dog. The requirements are: the dog must at least weigh 20 kilograms, must be 1-2 years old and super healthy. The vet also explained to us the procedure... The dog will be tested first if he/she is healthy to undergo the procedure. If he/she passes requirements, he/she will be injected the same type of vaccine that was given to Alodia. Then after 12 hours, at least 100 ml of blood will be extracted and processed to get the serum which in turn will be injected to Alodia. It will be 3 doses of serum from the donor dog every 12 hours. I told TJ about this procedure and he tried to look for donors right away.

To our surprise, after 15 minutes, Alodia woke up. To be honest, it was a 15-minute agony for the three of us (my siblings accompanied me to VIP). So when we saw her awake, we gave praises to God. But still, we waited at least for an hour until the vet (a different one because the one who made the procedure had to attend to an emergency case) told us that she's ready to go home. Again, they reminded us about the donor dog. We promised to go back on Friday (March 23) so that the serum can be donated to Alodia as early as Saturday which is my rest day and TJ's too. I asked her if there's a chance that Alodia would survive this. As a healthcare professional, I know that we don't give false reassurance to our patients. So the vet told me that they can't promise that she would get through this especially that it's already too late when we found out that she has distemper.

After the procedure

Yay! Alodia opened her eyes!

At home, it was surprising to see that she drank lots of water. She was probably thirsty and tired from our travel. She kept on standing on her own feet but unsteady gait was still obvious due to the anesthesia. I fed her an osteorized chicken liver and Ensure as advised by the VIP vet. I knew that she was really hungry. I still fed her through a syringe. She still won't eat by herself.

March 22: At 12 am, we lied on the sofa in our living room and told her to rest. I noticed that she kept on sniffing me. She probably needed a hug. I hugged her until I fell asleep. My brother woke me up because she saw Alodia wanted to stand up and go down... My brother put her to sleep on a comfy blanket with pillow.

At 1:30 am, brother woke me up because Alodia vomited. It was probably caused by the anesthesia or a symptom of her illness.

At 5:00 am, my mother woke me up because I was supposed to go to work. I told her I'll just go on a leave so I can bring her anytime to the clinic if she still continues to deteriorate. I just wanted to be with her today. So I saw her sleeping on the floor... not on the blanket. My mother asked if she's okay... I said, she must be tired from the procedure. I also told her that the vet advised us to give her ample time to rest.

At 6:00 am, I started receiving texts from people who wants to help Alodia. Apparently, TJ's friend posted about our need of a donor dog online. I was really overwhelmed that strangers are willing to help my baby girl. Thank you guys.

At 8:00 am, I tried to wake her up but she still won't respond. It seemed really odd. I put her on my lap and caressed her. I keep calling her name but still, no response. Then, I suddenly felt something on my lap. She urinated... while asleep. I started to worry so I called the VIP immediately. Sad to say, they told me it wasn't a good sign. She's deteriorating and her body system is starting to give up. The lady on the other line (probably a vet) told me to wait and to let her rest. I insisted to rush her to their hospital. I checked her vital signs, it was still okay... Heart rate: 90 beats per minute. Respiratory rate: 60 cycles per minute.

I woke my brother up and asked him if he could take me and Alodia to Mandaluyong. While waiting for my brother, I noticed that her respiration became shallow. I also noticed that her tongue was pale. I started crying. I told her to fight and not to give up. I don't want her to leave me. She is like my "de-stressor". She is my happiness. I know that she came into my life only a month ago but it feels like I have been with her for so long. I love her so much... I don't want to let her go.

On our way to Mandaluyong, we still haven't passed the Elliptical Road when Alodia started moaning so loud. I knew that she was going to leave me that moment so I told my brother to take us to UP instead. On our way to UP... Alodia had 3-4 deep breaths. It seemed like she was trying to get more oxygen. It's like she was drowning. I cried while saying my last words for her. I thank her for bringing joy to our life, to my life... I apologized if she had to suffer this way... And I told her that I love her so much. I also called TJ who gave his last words through speaker phone.  After our goodbyes, Alodia stopped breathing. This is the most painful experience I have ever felt so far. I still can't believe that she's gone. I remember I told her that we will still be together at least 10 years from now. I also remember that I once told TJ that I'm really excited to see her grow because I wanna know how big she is since she's a mixed breed of Chowchow and Siberian Husky.

I know that she came into our life because of a purpose... And I know what that purpose is. Thank you Alodia for fixing everything for us. You and Weasley will always be in my heart. Both of you are my angels now. I love you so much... Please keep on guiding us.

Thank you so much to all those people who give their heartwarming condolences. Thank you to those people online who texted and called me about their willingness to help Alodia. Thanks to my friends for sending prayers. Thanks to my family who spoiled her a lot... To my mama who carries her in the morning while praying the rosary. To papa who's not really a pet lover but bought her a desk fan, mop for her urine, etc. To my siblings Nat and Stel for bringing her to the vet while I am at work, for feeding her, cuddling her, etc.  Thanks everyone. Thank you. Lastly, thanks to my boyfriend, TJ, for bringing Alodia into our life. You know what that purpose is... Let's be strong. Alodia wants us to be strong. Right?

I love you, Alodia...

December 19, 2011 - March 22, 2012

We will miss you, Weasley

I couldn't explain in words how devastated I am upon learning that Weasley's health status is critical. 

He was rushed to the animal clinic yesterday due to seizures. The vet said he has meningitis. This morning, we called the vet for updates and sad to say, he might give up anytime. :( When I went to the vet to see Weasley, I couldn't help but shed in tears while calling his name. He's too young to die. He's only 3 months old. :( I still couldn't understand how he was able to contract this fatal viral infection.

Weasley, we will miss you. I will miss you a lot especially those moments when you beg me to carry you (I couldn't resist your begging eyes). I will miss everything about you. I love you Weasley even though you've only stayed with us for a month. :(

February Blackberry Photos

Just some of the photos from my BB girl.

1. At Moonleaf Tea Shop. Sigh. Wrong spelling is wrong! Zyla, Xyna, Zaila, etc. I will now change my Twitter account to @sailadev. HAHAHA!
2. My messy work place at work. I was the night shift charge nurse. Doctor's orders, IV sheet board, coffee, endorsement logboook, different pens, post-its where follow-ups, laboratories, procedures, and CBG monitoring are written.
3. Pesto cooked by my brother after my PM duty.
4. Chicken and Mushroom Fusilli cooked by yours truly before I went to work.
5. Beautiful flowers from the unknown. :) Lol. It's for a patient's relative who was celebrating her birthday that time.
6. Alodia at the animal clinic.
7. Human Heart Nature Facial Wash. The only product that worked on my pimples for a long time. :)
8. Beach please. Can't wait for our summer outing on April. :)

Rest in Peace, Little Angel

As I expected, my life back in N5 is stressful yet fun. I don't miss the fast paced life in N5 but I did miss my workmates who crack jokes and "make fun" of each other every now and then. .

So anyway, I survived my first day as a charge nurse. I had 23 patients which means I had 23 patient's charts to read and review in 8 hours. As a night shift charge nurse, it is your task to review all the doctors' orders in the past 24 hours just to check if anything was missed. Unfortunately,  I wasn't able to finish everything. Bear with me, I am still adjusting.  On my second day as a charge nurse, I think I got the right technique. Thanks to one of my seniors Ma'am Aloha who taught me the faster way. :)

Last Wednesday, we admitted a young looking lady who seems like giving up anytime. I took her initial blood pressure and I got 70/40. I got curious about her case so I waited for the medical intern to finish taking the patient's medical history. To my surprise, the patient is only 16 years old and has ovarian cancer. Another thing that surprised me is that she already lost her ovaries at a very, very young age. Through my whole shift, I always obtain low blood pressure. The medical resident on duty already talked to the mom (I assume)and asked her if they want to be "aggressive". I heard things like, "So i-tutubo siya? Hindi ba mahihirapan yun bata nun?", "Anong mangyayari kung di kame pumayag?", etc.

For five days, the patient fought for her life until this morning, I learned that she already succumbed to cancer. My heart sank upon hearing the bad news. She's too young to die. I know that if she was given a chance to live longer, she would probably grow up to a very, very nice and sweet lady. 

To be honest, she's my favorite patient among those who were admitted in that wing (N5 ward is divided into two wings). She never complained anything except for the back pain when I raised her legs during her hypotension episodes. Other than that, she was quiet and very cooperative. Sadly, this young girl isn't aware of her illness despite the procedures and medical treatment she has gone through. 

I've had a number of "deaths" during my first year in the hospital but this death made a big impact to my life. First, I don't like seeing young people suffer from illness. We can go back to our memories during our childhood but we can never turn back the time and be a kid again. Having diagnosed of cancer deprives these kids to enjoy the normal childhood life. It breaks my heart to see a kid watching other kids playing outside through the window. And second, being diagnosed with endometriosis, I feel like I am not as lucky as any other woman who doesn't have any problems in getting pregnant. When I was diagnosed and have undergone two major operations in two consecutive years, I was warned about my future that I might not get pregnant. Through this innocent stranger, I realized that I am still blessed. At least, I still have my ovaries and that I can still get pregnant through fertility work ups. I thank God for that.

The best thing about being a nurse is that everyday you meet new people whom you never thought would touch your life and give you a life changing experience instead of you touching their hearts.

Thank you, little angel. May you rest in peace.